1. Mindset is EVERYTHING!
Heartbreak is tough. But if there was ever a time to focus on the positives in life, it is now. You have been given a second chance at living a happy life, creating a life you dreamed of. Every time you find yourself falling into victim mode or having negative thoughts about your ex-partner or your separation, force yourself to change your inner story. This change of mindset will help you get through the tough times. You cannot control how your ex-partner behaves during divorce, but you can control your own behaviour and actions. There is no doubt that an amicable separation takes you down a healthier path.
2. Family Law advice is POWER
If you have the right advice from a family lawyer from the early stages of your separation, you can create a strategic plan to resolve your family law parenting matter and property division. Even if you and your partner have reached an agreement, you will need advice about how to legally formalise that agreement and tie up all the loose ends.
In your first consultation with your family lawyer, you should receive advice about your matter and formulate a plan to resolve your property division and parenting arrangements.. From there you can engage the family lawyer to guide you through your separation and reach a resolution so that you can put the separation behind you and get on with living you best life. It is important to find a lawyer who tells you what you need to hear (as opposed to what you want to hear!) and who you feel comfortable and confident in.
3. CREATE a plan
Be a man/woman with a plan! Don’t get weighed down in the overwhelming aspects of your separation. Create a short and simple plan of the things you are going to do to make your way through this time and onto bigger and better. Where possible, you should defer and delegate to the experts – this may be your first time going through a separation, but family lawyers and other experts deal with separation on a daily basis! Delegate your stress to the experts and get on with focusing on you and your family.
For example, a simple three step plan may look like this:
Get family law advice from a family lawyer.
Book a mediation to get the family law process started.
Engage with a counsellor who specialises in relationship breakdown counselling
FOCUS on something new
Do something you have always wanted to do but have never done before. This could be booking a short holiday somewhere you have never been to, learning a new skill or joining a group to expand your friendships and support network. You could make it as simple as joining a fitness class. If you have children, you could start a new tradition with them – such as going to a local event that is held every year or choosing a weekend to go away on a short trip and making in an annual excursion.
5. It’s time to call in your VILLAGE
And if you don’t have a village – create one! Start with the professionals – a family lawyer, relationship counsellor, a doctor if you feel you need mental health support, a financial advisor and an accountant to sort our your tax and finances. Connect with others in the same life stage as you. Be upfront with your family and friends and tell them you may need some extra support in the coming months while you get past this hurdle and onto a stronger, happier you.
Most importantly, remember that you are definitely not alone. Many, many others before you have been through separation and survived and even thrived! Be kind to yourself.
To get started on resolving your separation, book an initial consultation with one of our family lawyers. You can book an online appointment using our booking calendar.
